The Computer Doesn't Allow That

(Ben & Darr)

You know what line I'm really getting tired of: The computer doesn't allow me to do that. You may have heard it recently at some local retailer, like a clothing store or something like that. Allow me to explan further. You go into a store like H&M or Express, etc, and you have a coupon that says if you spend 75.00 you get 25.00 off, or whatever. Then guess what? Your total sale comes up to $49.96, and the 18yr old working the register says he/she would love to give you the 4 cents and thus give you the coupon credit, but "the computer won't allow me to do that." Obviously the goal is to get you to buy something else before getting the discount, I understand that, but come on, can you please stop insulting us with that silly little lie about the computer not allowing you to do that? It's complete crap and anytime a cashier says it to you, he/she is lying through their teeth, giving the company line so to speak.

Last night I went to the movie theatre and saw the new movie with the guy from the Hangover. Very funny. But beforehand we bought a popcorn/soda combo deal for 14.95 (wow) , and was told that all candy was 2.50 (as many boxes as we wanted) with the combo, instead of the regular 3.75. So, of course, I bought a candy with the combo meal, allowing myself to be upsold. Why not, right? Then I told the kid working the counter that I had my receipt and would come back out during the movie to take advantage of the offer to purchase unlimited boxes at 2.50--if we got hungry again. But guess what? The computer wouldn't allow him to do that. All the candy had to be purchased on the spot, in the same transaction. So I confronted him about this blatant lie, and basically said that it was nonsense about the computer not allowing the candy to be bought later. Here was the exchange:

Me: Why won't the computer allow you to do that if I have my receipt?

Him: Company line mumbo-jumbo.

Me: I have my receipt. What's the difference? In fact you'll probably sell more candy if you keep the offer alive the whole night. I'll probably keep coming back out to buy.

Him: The computer will not allow a candy sale of 2.50 unless it's with the popcorn/soda combo. Has to be all one transaction. Otherwise: 3.75. Sorry, dude.

Me: What will the computer do? Not open up when you hit enter or whatever? Does the computer sieze up and stop working if you dare make a sale of 2.50 instead of 3.75? There's no override option of any kind? You're clearly not telling the truth.

Him: Company line mumbo-jumbo.

We live in a world that has computers that can improve eye sight with lasers and drive satellites through outer space. But an asst. manager at Express or Gap can't punch a couple buttons and make a sale of 49.96 enter in as 50.00? Please, it's B.S. And, by the way, it's not a computer it's a cash register, and I doubt the cash register is abreast of all promotions, and sales, and such, and somehow be programmed to not EVER allow an override of any kind. Get real! It's clearly a lie. Of course the reason for this lie is to get you to buy more product, whatever retailer it is. But, as a consumer, I kind of have a problem being lied to straightfaced when I'm inside spending my money. Especially if the person lying to me is an 18yr-old kid. And I know that's what all employees are told to say, and that is part of the pull in: get a customer inside the store then get everything you can out of that customer. I get it. I guess I'm just tired of hearing this stupid, blatant lie all the time, even at the movie theatre.

Brian Huba

11/12/10