10 Things Historically Overrated

Here’s a list of 10 things that I feel are historically overrated, overexposed, or simply blown out of proportion.

10. Animal House: It’s not funny. John Belushi is not funny. I can name 100 comedies better, yet this bland flick is considered an iconic, American classic. I don’t get it.

9. Steak Dinners: Why do people always make such a big deal about going out for steak dinners? Why are they always so expensive? To me, steak is steak, regardless of the restaurant or kind of cut. I don’t know. To me it’s just more sizzle than substance. Then everybody complains if it's overcooked or too rare. It's madness. Anybody can make basically the same thing at home.

8. Niagara Falls: Do people really take full weekends to drive almost to Canada to look at waterfalls? Albeit, grandiose waterfalls, but a whole weekend devoted. Really? It just seems a little too ordinary and kind of boring for me.

7. Renting Limos: I don't know what to really say for this one. Whenever someone is going to rent a limo for something and I have to contribute $$$, I get pretty irritated. Limos aren't really that exciting, I'm sorry. When you're younger, OK, but beyond that, nah.

6. Firework Displays: Why do people gather like lemmings to witness these displays? Nothing sounds worse than packing into some area and watching fireworks illuminate the night sky as everyone says “oohhhh” and “aaahhhhh.”

5. Frank Sinatra: Can you believe that some people consider Ol Blue Eyes to be the greatest singer and/or entertainer ever? What are these people thinking? Sinatra shows are/were beyond boring. He just walks around the stage talking his way through lounge-sounding songs. Of course I like some of his tunes, but overall he’s not even in the conversation as one of the greatest ever. He can’t touch Lennon, couldn’t even hold Elvis’s PB&Banana sandwich, and Michael Jackson would moonwalk him right off the stage. Same rule holds true for Tony Bennett. He’s a total bore too.

4. A Christmas Story: This movie is not good. Why does it get played every year on 24-hr marathon? “You’ll shoot your eye out.” Every time I see this thing on TV, I wish I did. Best X-Mas movies: Christmas Vacation, Scrooged, Bad Santa.

3. Italian Cookies: Why does everyone bring these treats to every party and/or gathering? Nobody likes Italian cookies. They are just crumbly and tasteless, and always end up getting thrown out by the dozen. Every time I see someone show up with that same, white Bella Napoli bag, I just want to say, “Just bring peanut butter cookies or chocolate chips.”

2. Parades: Don't get them. Never have, never will. God bless you if you love 'em. I just can't wrap my mind around the concept. Sorry.

1. George Washington: Man oh man, this guy has to be the most blown-out-of-proportion figure in history. If you really stop to think about it, really push all the nonsense and distractions out of the way, what did GW really ever do? He was at Saratoga at some point, because he’s in all those painted pictures on the boat, I guess. He became President, he had wooden teeth. He’s the father of our country, OK. There’s not even proof that he even lived if you really think about it. I may be way off on this one, but I feel like GW was always painted into the right places in history vs. actually being an active contributor. He’s just always around the action, like a Revolutionary War mascot or something. Washington is shoved down every kid’s throat from the time they can talk. When the truth is he may have never done an actual, substantive thing at all.

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Brian Huba
1/17/11