It may surprise you to hear that I was not always the captain of industry I am today. As Christmas 2013 comes close, I reflect on my station in life, and think wow how have I reached so high? Respected (downright revered) by my colleagues, making well over 17,000 a year, and pretty much killing it on a daily basis. My path to such heights wasn’t easy. In fact, it was pretty weird. I wrote a holiday song about it called “The Twelve Firings of Brian.” Here it goes.
Oh the first time a fired, when the boss got rid of me, washing dishes at the Villa Valenti
Oh the second time a fired, when the boss got rid of me, caught giving out free turkey from the Price Chopper deli
Oh the third time a fired, when the boss got rid of me, told by Grand Union “you’re not supermarket material-e”
Oh the fourth time a fired, when the boss got rid of me, found sleeping on Taft Furniture’s inventory
Oh the fifth time a fired, when the boss got rid of me, an administrative assistant at Orange Ford & Mercury
Oh the sixth time a fired, when the boss got rid of me, driving an ice cream truck through the inner city
Oh the seventh time a fired, when the boss got rid of me, some office place in Latham that did the deed immediately
Oh the eighth time a fired, when the boss got rid of me, assistant leasing manager at a Chrysler joint called Armory
Oh the ninth time a fired, when the boss got rid of me, at Mary Jane Books, bounced out by a peace-loving hippie
Oh the tenth time a fired, when the boss got rid of me, vacuuming cars at Hoffman’s on Central Ave. in Albany
Oh the eleventh time a fired, when the boss got rid of me, a Barcelona's busser till they got sick of sharing tips w/ yours truly
Oh the twelfth time a fired, when the boss got rid of me, dishwashing with a bachelor’s at a retirement community
For those who fired me, it’s rather obvious you had a reason. With that said, I hope you and yours have a happy holiday season!
Brian Huba
12.8.13
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