Sunday, October 31, 2010

Things That Make Me Go Hmmmm

Like C&C Music Factory and Arsenio Hall used to say in the 90's, these are a few news-pieces that made me go hmmmm.

1. The Hangover & Mel Gibson: So let me get this straight. The cast and crew of the Hangover II WILL work with convicted-rapist and drug-offender Mike Tyson but they WON'T work with Mel Gibson, who was caught on tape ranting to his girlfriend (who set him up) about all things from race to their crappy relationship? Don't get me wrong, I love Iron Mike, and Mel's rant was insane, even for Hollywood standards, but it seems pretty hypocritical of this ego-bloated Hangover crew to put up the morality stop-sign for Mel, who did not technically get convicted of anything criminal yet, but will roll out the red carpet for Iron Mike, a man who did 4 yrs behind bars. By the way, if anyone thinks the Hangover II is going to be good (because the first Hangover was awesome), I refer back to Meet the Fockers (maybe one of the most unwatchable, cringe-worthy movies ever made) and the upcoming Little Fockers. Sometimes one great movie in the comedy series is enough. Ironically, Tyson is the only one who said he had "no problem" working with Mel. Go figure. P.S. Why is Bradley Cooper, at the height of his Hollywood fame dating Renee Zellwegger? Bradley, you could have any woman you want. You settle for that pale, prune-faced borefest? Come on, BC, get real.

2. The Albany Warehouse Fire: Today the Times Union called the Albany Warehouse building the white elephant in the room. I'd say so! Doesn't it seem a bit strange to anybody that this awful eye-sore on the Albany skyline just suddenly caught fire, when all accounts said it was long-abandoned? Right now the building is owned by a firm who can't sell it and seemingly has no future plans for it. Obviously, if nothing is going to be done with this disgusting building, it would serve all involved to just get rid of it, right? Then, suddenly, a fire, and guess what, Albany fire fighters decide not to attack it, for danger reasons. I have proof of nothing, but my instinct tells me there are people pushing levers on this fire deal, and I wouldn't be surprised if a few weeks from now the building is declared too dangerous to stand, and ordered for the wrecking-ball treatment. Stay tuned.

3. Jenn Sterger & Brett Favre: Am I supposed to feel outrage or anger about the text messages and inappropriate photos (Brett denies the photos) that Favre sent former Jets reporter Jenn Sterger on his cell phone? Have you ever seen this Sterger girl? She is literally a 105lb package of temptation, at all times, in all situations. She did sideline reports for the Jets in a low-cut belly shirt and is splashed all over the Internet in provocative pics. I don't know about you, but that doesn't strike me as overly-professional, in any regard. My point is this: If it looks like a duck, it might NOT be a duck, but it's at least wearing a duck's costume. You can't flaunt yourself as a belly-shirt, flirty "wooo girl" then all of a sudden ask to be taken seriously when you make accusations of inappropriate behavior against you on this level. It doesn't cut both ways, honey. Now she won't even talk to the NFL about the charges. Of course not. She wants a payoff from Favre and a reality show. Was Brett (a married man) wrong to act like this? Of course. But he wouldn've tried sending those texts/photos to a woman who sold herself as all business. So ladies, before you defend poor, little, half-shirted Jenn, ask yourself 1). How did Brett Favre even get her cell phone # in the first place? (Don't tell me you believe that story about the Jets worker giving it to Brett behind Sterger's back.) And, 2), please, understand: Jenn Sterger, and all women like her, are the reason why feminism is comedy relief in this country.

4. Breast Cancer Awareness Month: What does that mean? Now before you read this wrong, let me say: cancer is a touchy subject (I recognize that) because it's a horrible disease that has rocked my family and I'm sure many others. Like Furio said in the Sopranos, "cancer, it respects-a nuttin." I pray everyday for a cure. And I know the pink shirts and fundraisers make the youth aware of the disease and that's a good thing, trust me, it is. I'm just not sure how me giving you a quarter outside Giants' Stadium or wearing pink will lead to a cure. Where is all that money going? Is it paying for treatment? Trust me, cancer treatment is out-of-this-world expensive for each person afflicted, and it's THAT person who's paying. Enter insurance, and if you don't have insurance, goodbye 401K. In regards to all cancers: Is the collection-can money for some scientist sitting in a lab somewhere still finding "the cure" for cancer? Is that the idea we're still selling? Is that money funding further research? What does that even mean? Is a CURE for cancer even possible? Haven't we been trying to cure cancer since the beginning of mankind basically? The truth: nobody has pinpointed without debate what causes cancer (not really) and it doesn't seem we're getting any closer to a cure. The treatment/technology is better, of course, but I feel like cancer is a part of being human, it's part of the deal, so to speak, like headaches or baldness. A doctor once told me, "We'd all die of cancer if it wasn't for heart disease or diabetes or car accidents. There's no way around cancer if you live long enough or eliminate all other causes of fatality." As a society, we understand the human body, and we know what cancer IS, but we have no idea how to STOP it, not really. It's genetics and everything else is a dice roll, whether you'll get it or not. Don't believe me? Statistically just 10% of life-long smokers ever get lung cancer, yet world-class biker, Lance Armstrong, gets cancer at 33 yrs old. Just one of a million oddities. It's a dice roll. Look at AIDS. AIDS came along in the 1980's and it was a death sentence back then. Now, in many ways, we have AIDS under control, already. By all means, donate, educate yourself, but I'm not sure all those quarters and pink shirts are leading to a cure anytime soon. And that sucks.

5. The New LeBron James NIKE Commercial: Have you seen this new commercial yet? It's LeBron James asking "you" what "should I do?" The commercial is answering all LeBron's critics, even poking fun at Charles Barkley, who harshly criticized James leaving Cleveland for Miami, and doing it on ESPN. Want my advice, LeBron? Stop talking about "the Decision," stop making commercials like this, stop talking about your tweets, stop hosting nightclub parties in Las Vegas, just SHUT UP AND WIN SOMETHING. Then start talking again.

Things that make me go hmmm

Brian Huba

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