Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Why Won't Cuomo Commit to New York?

A Siena Poll released yesterday shows that most New Yorkers still want Attorney General Andrew Cuomo to run for governor. Before we get excited about a second Cuomo in New York State’s top job, let’s remember: He hasn’t even announced his intentions to run for governor! So the man New Yorkers want to rectify the mess in Albany isn’t even “officially” in the race.

I ask: Why won’t Andrew Cuomo commit to New York?

According to the Troy Record: “For months, voters have said that Cuomo has time to declare what he’s running for — seemingly agreeing with the attorney general that it was time for governing rather than politics,” said Siena pollster Steven Greenberg. “As we are now less than seven months from Election Day, the tide has swung and voters want Cuomo to declare his intentions, and they’d prefer, particularly Democrats, that he run for governor.”

In my opinion Cuomo’s continued line about staying solely focused on politics is a bunch of BS. Right now, more than ever, this state needs someone to stand up and say, “I want to lead this state and I have a plan.” Cuomo’s insistence to remain in the weeds, putting political strategy over what’s right for New Yorkers, is quite frankly selfish and a bit cowardly if you ask me. Say what you want about David Paterson, and believe me I’ve said a bunch, but at least he’s out there hitting this budget mess head-on, despite the fact that he has no future in Albany. That’s more than I can say for our Legislators, who last Wednesday, with the budget weeks late, went home for the weekend. Home for the weekend on Wednesday! Costing thousands of New Yorkers their jobs because there’s no money plan in place. And it’s more than I can say for Cuomo. Like the old saying says, “crap or get off the pot.”

Currently Cuomo has a 66% approval rating.

66% Approval rating? For what? This poll finding is everything that’s wrong with New York. The man who leads all other potential gubernatorial candidates by 35 points is not even a nominee. It’s the same thing with our current government and legislators. We have a band of damn jokers who’ve dug this state into a 9-billion-dollar grave, and are still taking 5-day weekends with the budget once again way overdue. But of course we won’t vote any of them out. In fact 45% of voters say New York’s moving in the right direction. The right direction! Incumbents like Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand saw a recent spike in her popularity. Are you kidding me!? A spike for what? The state’s never been worse. What does it take to get these idiots out of office? How many New Yorkers need to lose their shirts? Like I’ve said so many times before: You’re asking millionaires to get their hands dirty with this fiscal mess. It won’t ever happen. Never.

And now the man who most New Yorkers want to lead us out of this abyss is waiting in the weeds? And I ask: for what? If this is some kind of political strategy, I don’t get it, not at this point. But I do promise if New Yorkers actually banded together and took control of our government again with a collective, connected voice, this nonsense would end, across the board. I don’t know what that means, but anything has to be better than telling polls that the state is moving in the right direction. But nah. Like complete idiots, we give no-show Cuomo a 66% favorability and send the message that our incumbents are doing good work and shouldn’t worry about reelection. So in the end, we have ourselves to blame for this 9-billion-dollar deficit. And if that’s the case, I say: Take your time Andrew Cuomo. Don’t worry about New Yorkers knowing your intentions until YOU’RE ready, on YOUR time table. I mean, why not, right? It’s all about you and your political career.

Brian Huba

Monday, April 19, 2010

Is Crossgates Mall Guilty of Profiling?

Last weekend a Guilderland police officer was injured when attempting, with Crossgates security, to arrest 3 students who were violating the mall’s parental escort rule. According to a Times Union article on 4/17/10: Just before 5:30 p.m., Guilderland police officer Paul Mahan responded to a call from Crossgates security detail complaining that three unsupervised 15-year-olds were refusing to leave the mall. Under mall policies, all children younger than 18 must be accompanied by an adult over the age of 21 after 4 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays. When Mahan was trying to put one of the boys under arrest, the youth resisted and a struggle ensued. Mahan suffered a leg injury and had to be transported to Albany Med, where he was treated and released.

This incident got me thinking about why Crossgates Mall put this policy into play way back in July 2006. The mall said the rule’s reason was to “cut down on gang violence, loitering teens, and to create a safer environment for all of the mall’s customers.” Of course retailers had a fit about any rule that would cut down foot-traffic and the number of potential buyers in these peak hours. A few months after the rule was put in place, there was an ugly incident involving Guilderland police tasering a 34-year-old man in the mall, and a nasty riot at a city bus stop outside the mall, involving a 14 year old.

So what am I saying?

The truth: this rule was employed to keep a certain “type” of minor out of the mall. I am not suggesting that it’s a black or white thing, but I am suggesting that Crossgates security practices a type of profiling when enforcing this parental escort policy. In regards to the three boys arrested last weekend, police said, “The three allegedly had been kicked out of the mall by security earlier in the day but re-entered the mall.” I have to believe that these three boys were targeted earlier in the day because of the way they looked and asked to leave the mall. Soon after, the trouble erupted.

I guarantee if three blonde-haired, blue-eyed high school girls from Shaker, Shen or Averill Park were at the mall, sans adult, during those "off-limit" hours, shopping bags in hand, not a single security guard would say word one to those girls. Translation: if you’re there to spend money, no problem. If you look like you’re there to loiter and make trouble, it’s time to put the policy in motion. Hell, maybe it’s a gender thing. Maybe it’s a pack presence thing. Is that right? I don’t know. Is it profiling? It’s the exact definition. Now, before we go further, I have openly admitted in this forum that I have no problem with profiling, at the airport for instance. None at all. When I’m about to board a plane, and I see a group of men who look like Osama bin Laden behind me in the ticket-check, I’m suddenly super-nervous. Sorry. It’s the truth. If you told me they were thoroughly searched and questioned pre-flight, because of the way they looked, fine by me. I feel better.


Because high school girls from Shen and Shaker aren’t shoe-bombing airplanes. And they’re not driving to Crossgates to make trouble on a Friday night either. The baby gangs from Albany and Troy are the ones making trouble. That’s true. In fact, it was a knockdown fight on a mall escalator, involving teenaged minorities from Albany that was the final straw for employing this rule at Crossgates in 2006. But the truth is hundreds of under 18 year olds, who have the right look and right walk, move through that mall after 4PM on Friday and Saturday without a single guard saying boo. But if a teenager’s got baggy pants or freaky hair, or with 5 friends, the guards will be on them like a lampshade.

I believe the parental escort policy is blatant profiling. I believe it because any other way of working this rule would cut into business and make renting retail space a tougher challenge. It’s profiling based on the way someone looks, and it may not be morally right, but it might be necessary. Crossgates is a business. Anything that could hurt or hamper that business should be dealt with or eliminated. I get that. And if the mall tried saying, “Sorry, we just don’t want gang kids who wanna fight and skaters who aren’t here to spend money inside the mall,” there’d be five thousand lawsuits by next Tuesday. Do I agree with the rule? Sure. But in accepting the necessity of this rule one is also reversing the old adage, and in fact, judging a book by the cover. And the mall will surely say it carries out this policy on ANYBODY under 18, regardless of the way they look. But I have heard dozens of examples that prove the opposite. Could these stories be lies? Maybe. But I don't think so.

I guess I don’t understand why we can’t just come out and admit the way a person looks is ALWAYS the first thing we think about. The truth is race is an issue in this country. If not then why is Obama’s election so historical? In his own words: “A historical day in American history.” Why would he say that if not referring to race? Is it historical because we elected someone with hardly enough experience for the Oval Office? Is that what he’s talking about? Again, I’m not accusing Crossgates of racism. But I do believe there is an “official” policy for kicking under 18 year olds out on weekends and an “understood” policy, and the two can so often be very different.

Read more: http://www.timesunion.com/AspStories/story.asp?storyID=922709#ixzz0lY0jTb6o

Brian Huba

Friday, April 16, 2010

I'm OK With Airlines Upcharging

Here’s the break down from Spirit: For flights on or after Aug. 1, Spirit said it will charge passengers $45 for a carry-on bag, or $30 if they register the bag ahead of time online or by phone. Members of the airline's $9 Club Fare will be charged $20. Passengers are allowed just one carry-on bag. "Bring less; pay less. It's simple," Spirit Chief Operating Officer Ken McKenzie said in a statement.

The new rules encourage customers to check more of their luggage, which Spirit says will help with efficiency. "I think this is more of an operations move to speed up boarding and deplaning," said Terry Trippler, an analyst with Rules to Know, a travel advisory. "Just get in and sit down. If you shave just 15 minutes off boarding, you are shortening your turnaround time, and that's utilizing your equipment to the maximum."

Obviously this is a ploy to make money for the airline and really has nothing to do with efficiency or faster boarding times. And, of course, I see why travelers are so upset about this idea. I however am perfectly fine with it. Why? Simple. If there’s one place I don’t want there to be a battle for money and/or skimming on services, it’s at the airlines. For those who don’t know: a plane is generally a gigantic vehicle that transports people from one place to the other at an altitude of 35,000 feet above earth. If one little, tiny thing goes wrong while this gigantic vehicle is en route at that altitude . . . well, let me put it this way: you better have a will written. I know plane crashes are rare. Like Lloyd Christmas says, "There's really nothing to worry about. Statistically, they say you're more likely to get killed on the way to the airport." But when they happen it is ALWAYS catastrophic. And, quite frankly, if we have to pay a few dollars to ensure that all precautions have been taken and all services have been carried out preflight, so be it. Maybe some of that extra $$$ can be used to keep dispatcher's kids out of the takeoff towers. What was that all about? Get real.

I do not travel by plane much, but I can tell you there’s no greater moment of mortality than when that plane is ascending after takeoff, the cabin lights off, engines screaming through the clouds. It is total and absolute powerlessness. Even babies are aware of it, I swear. The last thing I would want to be thinking about in that state is what the airline I’m on is doing to save money, where management has decided to scale back due to lacking funds. Of all the areas involved with air travel, if paying extra for luggage will ensure that everything else is attended to at a meticulous level, OK. Maybe the extra money Spirit Airline travelers have to pay for luggage will be used to pay pilots better. Some reports that I’ve read have listed starting salary for pilots at less than $20,000 per year. In fact, the pilots on the plane that crashed in Buffalo last year were heard on recording talking about how little money they made and exhaustion from working second jobs to make end’s meat. A few minutes later, end’s meat was the least of everyone’s problem. There are two types of people who I want completely focused when I’m involved: my surgeon and my airplane pilot. I hold the two jobs in the same regard and want neither worried about anything but preserving my life. $45 luggage fee? Fine by me.

I know people who travel often are worried that other airlines will follow suit and start upcharging all over the place. I respect that position. But, in case you haven’t noticed, there’s a bit of a financial crunch in this country. It sucks. But it’s the truth. Everybody, from health care to education to the postal service, is searching for ways to close the money gap. It is what it is. People are losing jobs by the basketload. Sometimes in life you have to pay to play, I guess. I don’t know whose fault all this money-grubbing is, but of all the places for politicians and consumers to draw the line in the sand, I would hope the industry that drives people at 500mph, 7 miles above ground level, would be near the bottom of the list. But hey, that’s just me.

Brian Huba

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Are There Any American Heroes Left?

I understand that famous people who’ve fallen out of the limelight are forever searching for that resurgence. But this is ridiculous. First for Buzz it was a short-lived stint on that train wreck of a show DANCING WITH THE STARS. Talk about a collection of the worst people in the world, from that grubby attention-hungry pig Erin Andrews to the most horrible human being on the face of the earth, Kate Gosselin, a woman who used her kids to get famous then abandoned her kids to get more famous. But hey, like her People Magazine spread asks: “Why can’t a mom have fun!?”

But this is the brand-new America, right? And 80-year-old, former astronaut Buzz Aldrin’s in the middle of it all. A few days after being eliminated from that ABC trashfest, Buzz stopped by the Howard Stern studio in NYC for a candid interview about all things, including his sexual conquests of yesteryear. Despite Howard’s best efforts to get Buzz to dish on his disgusting DANCING cast mates, the second man to walk on the moon was really there to promote his new app for the I-Phone. That’s right. An I-Phone app. It’s gone from making world history in front of 600 million viewers to shopping himself out for the I-phone. The man NASA once dubbed ‘Dr. Rendezvous’ has gone Madison Avenue on us, leaving all integrity and self respect somewhere in outer space. This is what our national icons look like now.

Are there any American heroes left?

This pathetic degeneration by Buzz Aldrin, the man who once shattered barriers by performing the first successful spacewalk in 1966, is just one of many examples of how this country has gone from a morals-based society, to a dog fight for instant and unearned fame. Across this country, politicians are constantly in trouble for lying, cheating, and just being plain stupid in every way, shape, and form. One need not look further then the Alaskan-idiot for that. For God’s sake the man who tried selling Obama’s Senate seat was put on a reality show. The world’s best golfer’s a serial cheater, the QB of the Pittsburgh Steelers does nothing but rape women and get away with it, and the best basketball player who ever lived, Michael Jordan, gives the whole world a massive, ego-driven screw you when being inducted into the NBA Hall of Fame. And that’s just the sports world. Don’t even get me started on the entertainment world, where Kim Kardashian, a woman whose talents are best displayed in a skimpy-fitting bikini, carries a bigger security detail than Tom Cruise. And we wonder why our young people think this world owes them everything.

If I’m a 12 year old in America who am I supposed to look up to? Justin Beiber? Compared to Kate Gosselin and this 21st-century Buzz Aldrin, itsy-bitsy JB is a National Treasure. When our kids are being taught about the first men to ever moonwalk in 1969, how Aldrin and Armstrong were instant heroes, I’m sure more than one plucky student will raise his/her hand and say, “Buzz Aldrin? You mean that old guy from DANCING WITH THE STARS?” Like Tony Soprano eternally wondered in therapy, “Whatever happened to guys like Gary Cooper? The strong, silent type?” Well, Tony, they got their own reality show, a Twitter following, and a sex scandal involving an Applebee’s waitress who pole-dances on the side. The only thing on TV is reality TV, but for the very few sitcoms that have survived, the sexual innuendo they say and show is so blatant, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone under 35.

I wonder what Martin Luther King and JFK would think of this brand-new America. I sure don’t know. But I’d bet it’d make one hell of a celebrity-house show on VH1. As for now, we have Buzz Aldrin on the I-Phone, Eric Clapton hustling for T-Mobile, and Sandra Bullock somehow winning Oscars for that silly Blindside, while her husband two times her with a breathing blow-up doll. What can I say? Talent and integrity have gone bye-bye.

Are there any American heroes left?

Brian Huba

Sunday, April 11, 2010

25 Random Thoughts

I’m insanely afraid to fly.

I have no problem with racial profiling at the airport.

Last Thursday I decided I'm never attending another wedding ever again. I've been to many. They've all been bad. So, I'm done.

I think Justin Beiber is pretty good. I watched him perform on SNL and was expecting it to be really bad, but I was surprised how well he sang and how well he moved around the stage. What can I say? He’s good. On a related note: I was 18 the first time I ever saw Justin Timberlake sing, Justin was probably 17. I was watching an HBO concert special, but I had never heard of Timberlake or NSYNC. But I knew--the second I saw Timberlake--that this kid was special, that he’d be around for the long haul. Ten years later . . . Did I have the same super-feeling when I saw Bieber last night? No, not quite. But I think he has a shot. One problem is the way his handlers are bubble-gumming him up way too much. He’s actually better than these silly songs he’s singing. Second problem: His looks. I don’t know how he translates into manhood. Right now he’s 16 and maybe 5’0”. Third problem: He’s way too cocky. Settle down, little guy. That’s the only way to ensure shelf life. We shall see.

Fourth of July and New Years Eve suck.

Does anyone else find it wildly inappropriate that the DWI Guy has a catchy song/jingle in his radio commercials? Call 1-800-DWI-TEAM. I know lawyers use these jingles so that people remember them when in a pinch. But DWI is a very serious crime, and I just feel having a catchy “fun” jingle is a bit too flippant for my taste. If this DWI Guy is going to stake his professional rep on helping DWI suspects exclusively, perhaps his tone should be a bit more serious than some radio jingle.

Do the stabbings in Albany ever end?

Why did Sandra Bullock win the Best Female Actress Oscar for the Blindside? The movie was boring and as Walt Disney as it gets. Bullock was her usual awful on screen. I’m sorry. I just don’t get the buzz around this ridiculous movie or her cardboard performance. It was like a crappy Remember the Titans, without the great Denzel to shoulder the load.

There’s nothing more American than being at Wal-Mart on a Saturday afternoon.

I can’t be in the same room as someone who’s eating cereal or soft ice cream. Yuck.

Dumb & Dumber is the greatest comedy ever made. Animal House is the most overrated. It’s not even remotely funny.

Kobe Bryant is the greatest athlete in all of professional sports. He’s a winner, has a great work ethic, and prides himself on playing hard every night, no matter what. Plus, he’s just better than everybody else.

George W. Bush is the most important American President ever. He’s not the best (or the worst), but history will soon show that his eight-year reign in Washington was/is world-changing for so many reasons. Stay tuned.

The world is not going to end in 2012.

This is the worst year of movies I can remember. From She’s Out of Your League to the Bounty Hunter. Need I say more?

The best job I ever had was washing dishes at the Villa Valenti Restaurant in Wynantskill. By the way, the food is out of this world. Never been? Do yourself a favor this weekend.

I lie about my age every SINGLE day. Why do I do that? I don’t know why.

If you eat McDonald’s more than once a week you need to immediately reevaluate your life. No matter how rich or poor someone is, there’s always a better option than the golden arches. By the way, I could eat twenty-five cheeseburgers in one sitting if I wanted to. But I don’t. That’s the difference.

Howard Stern is the greatest entertainer in America. He’s not? Who’s better?

If you believe that Sarah Palin would be a good President you’re not, well, I don't know what you are. I respect Democrats and Republicans, think both have good ideas. But nobody with half a brain can actually think this lightweight from Alaska should be the most powerful person in the world. Come on, guys. You can’t be serious. Sarah Palin? She’s the biggest political lightweight in the history of the World. That’s right, the world.

Try the Insanity Workout. It's really tough, and addicting.

PYX-106.5’s song selection is as ordinary as it gets. Livin on a Prayer followed by Paradise City then Carry on my Wayward Son. Does the rock vault go a bit deeper than Steve Miller and Led Zepplin twice an hour every hour? By the way, the Uncle Vito thing jumped the shark about 20 years ago. It's time for the former Ranger Danger to hang it up and hunt down the elusive Knockers LaRue, wherever she may be.

Is there anyone out there stupid enough to call one of these credit consolidation places because they believe these companies will eliminate your debt and cut your payments down to one single payment per month? My mother once taught me: If it’s too good to be true . . . Well, you know the rest.

I'm currently reading the Closers by Michael Connelly.

This summer I plan on rewatching the entire Sopranos series on DVD, for the third straight summer. What can I say? I don't give up easy.

Brian Huba

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Scooter Nation

Recently I went to the local Wal-Mart to purchase home-improvement materials. While there I noticed something that was hugely alarming. The number of middle-aged people doing their shopping in one of those scooter-mobile deals was unbelievable. Literally every aisle of the store was filled with the soft humming of an oncoming scooter engine. Now I’m not writing this to sound off on people who’re legitimately disabled. That’s not what this is about. But I do ask if the whole scooter thing has gotten a little out of control. The ads for these scooters are everywhere on the Internet.

So I ask: Are we really this lazy and lacking of pride as a nation?

I read about a study done through the University of Michigan (I believe it was Michigan not Michigan State). The study concluded that nearly 40% of middle-aged Americans cannot climb 10 steps without stopping, cannot walk a quarter mile, or stand up for two hours. Most middle-aged participants in the study blamed neck problems, back problems, and even diabetes as reasons why they couldn’t complete these simple tasks. To me these figures are terrifying. Not only is that level of physical deficiency pathetic at middle age, quite frankly it’s indicative of so many more problems in this country.

The truth is most back and neck problems come from a life of laziness and inactivity. As far as diabetes goes, if you don’t think bad diet contributes to that condition, you’re crazy. Two places that paint a picture of what Middle America looks like are the local Wal-Mart and Walt Disney World. And let me tell you, the people you see at those two places are overwhelmingly fat slobs who look horrible. You cannot inhale McDonald’s and never step foot inside a fitness center and look good at age 40. Sorry. Not only does that kind of life style put medical costs through the roof and cripple our health care system, it negatively influences our nation’s future generation.

What do I mean by that?

Try to imagine the humiliation a child must feel walking beside a parent who’s so fat or so lazy that they need a scooter to complete a simple shopping trip. Now remember I’m not attacking people who are disabled. But fat-and-lazy is not a disability. Sorry. Imagine the lack of pride a child would feel seeing classmates or friends whose parents are actually fit enough to walk upright around a Wal-Mart. I would’ve crawled up and died if my mother needed a scooter at Price Chopper when she was 35 years old. If that’s the way I was raised, I’d likely be sitting in bed right now, sucking down a Big Mac, 80 pounds overweight. But I wasn’t and now I’m not. And I promise my unborn children that, unless I am unable due to serious disability, I’ll never be caught dead in a Wal-Mart scooter at age 35 or 40 or whatever. I’d rather crawl on hands and knees through the aisles and drag myself around Disney World on my stomach than submit to some damn scooter. Did you know that these scooter-riding idiots get to jump all the lines at Disney World too? So now we’re rewarding laziness. I love it. 40% of middle aged Americans can’t climb 10 steps!? Get off the goddamn couch you fat slobs. Have some pride.

We as a nation wonder why the obesity rate among children and young teenagers is sharply on the rise. We blame schools, we blame restaurant menus, we blame politicians. I say nonsense. You need not look any further than the local Wal-Mart to realize why this country is becoming fatter and weaker every day. If I’m a child and every middle-aged adult in my life is a lazy slob with “neck” problems and “back” problems, and whatever other excuse, these adults are most likely creating a life of least resistance for me. There’s no emphasis on physical fitness and eating right. Instead it’s fast food and video games, and lacking pride in every area of living. This slob-problem’s becoming generational. I read about an invention--a shoe horn--that allows for someone to put their shoe on without even bending over! Bending over is too much work for Americans now. Pathetic.

Now I realize that obesity and lacking health is so often consistent with poverty, and so many people are having a hard financial time right now. I get that. But jogging around the block costs nothing. Taking some pride in your appearance costs little. And putting down the damn scooter and actually walking around the grocery store is not too much to ask of a 40-year-old woman, in any condition. If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for your kids.

Brian Huba

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Jennifer Aniston is awful!

I’m going to put this as bluntly as possible: I can’t stand Jennifer Aniston. How many of her horrible, stupid, cliché romcoms do we have to endure? Every one of her movies is the same stupid thing and they're all awful. I don’t know who saw last year’s LOVE HAPPENS (not many people as it only made 20-million at the box office). But let me tell you it made that piece of crap SHE’S OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE look like THE GODFATHER. Now she’s back stinking it up in that cinematic punch line THE BOUNTY HUNTER. I mean, come on. How many times can studios reinvent this junk? And by the way can the Gerard Butler experience end already? That guy hasn’t ever been within a million miles of a halfway decent script. But of course, Aniston had to date him too. Because she only dates A-listers. Wow.

The truth is Friends was one of the greatest sitcoms ever. Aniston was awesome as Rachel Green because the role required no actual acting, as Aniston couldn’t act her way out of a soaking wet paper bag. But no matter how impactful that show was, so many years ago, I don’t understand why it’s bought this untalented idiot this kind of shelf life. It‘s literally one titanic bomb after the other with Aniston. Now she’s off filming another soon-to-be crapfest with Adam Sandler, another one who couldn’t find a good movie with a hunting dog and road map. And don’t even try telling me about THE BREAK UP. That was a great movie, sure. But my sister could’ve played the part of Vaughn’s girlfriend. The role had the range of a Shaquille O’Neal jump shot. It was the supporting cast that made that flick first class. The most underappreciated actor in Hollywood: Jason Bateman, made that story work. Aniston just got in the way. Anybody who thinks Aniston’s a leading lady needs to get their head examined asap. She makes J-Lo look like Liz Taylor. And the girl-next-store, America’s-sweetheart thing went out the window way back. No matter how many highlights and all-water diets she tries, age is age. By the way did anybody see the US WEEKLY spread of her 41st birthday? That was the saddest thing I ever saw.

"Aniston just can't play the good friend anymore. She's aged out, no matter the yoga and the highlights. She just can't do America's sweetheart next door. She needs a big wake-up call," one film critic who didn't want to be named told the NY Post.

I guess the Jennifer Aniston express officially hit pathetic after the whole Brad Pitt disaster. When Pitt traded her in for someone with actual acting chops (Angelina Jolie), Aniston went all-out transparent. Clearly carrying out every aspect of her personal life in some kind of sad attempt to win Brad Pitt back or get his attention or something. I can’t even recall the countless number of gossip rags that ran stories about Jolie destroying Aniston in one humiliating episode after the other. Then it was onto John Mayer and Gerard Butler. Don’t forget Vince Vaughn who made quick work of her. Honestly the only thing more awful than her acting is her choice in men. "And as for her taste in men,” one movie producer said, it's totally off. John Mayer? Gerard Butler? She's missing a common-sense gene."

But no matter how lousy her dating chops are, there has to be something wrong with a woman who gets publically dumped over and over and over. Now she’s alone again. Maybe it’s time to give up the A-listers only thing, sweetheart.

My greatest hope on this subject is that Jen-Jen just goes away for a while. If she continues making these trainwreck movies, the snickers will come bigger and quicker than ever before. Maybe it’s time to reassess things and come back reinvented. Accept the fact that you’re middle aged and take some roles with an ounce of substance. If this comically pathetic chapter in her life rolls on any worse, we’re going to begin to forget the one good thing she did in entertainment. And that would be a shame.

By the way: April Fool's Day! I was just kidding. Nothing could ever make that by-the-numbers bomb SHE'S OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE look like THE GODFATHER.

Brian Huba