Friday, December 21, 2012

Bad Idea, Jethro

Anyone who thinks more guns are the answer to solving gun violence probably thinks Sarah Palin would be a good President too. To believe that arming teachers and clergymen and hospital employees will deter people who want to commit heinous crimes like we saw in Newtown last week is the same as suggesting the best way to fight drugs is just give everybody crack and coke to even it out. It’s ridiculous and such ridiculousness on issues is eating America from the inside out. Being from New York we are immune to most of this Ted Nugent thinking, but take a trip to Kansas or Kentucky and you’ll see why George Bush was elected President.

Enough already with the Second Amendment. I’m so tired of NRAers throwing that argument up as defense for arming the entire country. It means nothing. I don’t care about your right to have a wall of weapons in your house. That amendment was written by men whose heads would explode if they ever saw a two-story building. That antiquated amendment doesn’t mean every American gets to have an assault rifle capable of crushing an entire village. A small handgun is one thing, not weaponry that the Taliban would get giddy over.

What about hunting, Brian? Hunting is disgusting. I don’t need a lesson on where meat comes from, I get that. But for a regular civilian to go into the woods and blow an animal’s head off for game, that’s not my kind of game. But, Brian, without hunting the wild animal population would be overwhelming. Wrong again, Jethro, it wouldn’t. Wild animals statistically live short lives and die off from so many other things. Hunting doesn’t affect it either way. So please, can the Right-to-Bear-Arms-for-Hunting argument.

What’s next? Arming teachers to stop school shootings? Another gem, Jethro. You want a teacher in front of a classroom conducting a lesson with a handgun on his person? Really? You know for every teacher there are about 30 students of all different states of mind. 30 to 1. Yeah right, that doesn’t have front page of the NY POST written all over it. And if a shooter enters the school, said teacher can just retreat to his office and grab his assault rifle and shoot the intruder dead. So you want a Hollywood shootout in the hallways of our high schools? No, Brian, the teachers would be trained. Really? That 57-year-old computer teacher would be trained to identify and eliminate a target with one bullet? So he’d teach computer class AND be James Bond?

If you’re not in the Army, a Police Officer, or some profession of that nature, you should NOT have an assault rifle. The end. I don’t care about your Second-Amendment Rights and I don’t care about your Hunting Sundays. We had 21,000 gun deaths last year. Actually, I know a few guys who were shot dead while hunting. Enough is enough. This is just another issue that Barack Obama has to clean up after eight years of Bush. And if you tell me that same dumb line: Guns don’t kill people, people kill people. Again I say no, Jethro. There’s a reason the Military doesn’t invade foreign lands armed with Puppies or Goose-feather Pillows. Guns are killing machines.

What's my solution to problems right now? Build a time machine, go back to 2000, and put Gore in the White House? America is still the best country in the world, but even the best is going to flounder a while right off the worst leader in Modern History.

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Brian Huba

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