Friday, January 15, 2010

The Devil Down In Haiti

In the wake of the awful 7.0 Earthquake that rocked the impoverished
island-nation of Haiti, spiritual leader for the stupid, Pat Robertson, declared the disaster a result of the Haitians making a deal with the devil. That’s right, in Robertson’s view as self-described demigod, the death and suffering of possibly 200,000 3rd-world people was God's punishment for Haitian slaves' "pact with the devil" to win freedom from France in 1804. Let me start by saying anyone who’s ever invested a red dime to Pat Robertson or took seriously any of his Evangelist ramblings should have their head examined. Robertson’s on-line mission statement mentions how he wants to be part of God’s earthly plan, and his teachings offer help to such things as overcoming debt and facing down fear. But his real mission is money, and the phantom of religion, his weapon. I understand that most people recognize Robertson as a typical TV-preacher, who’s built his bank account and fame off the backs of the weak and vulnerable. Quoting scarcely-known bible lines to pass as some high-ranking prophet in God’s play is no different than what David Koresh, leader of the Waco Davidians, did to fill his cult-quota. And we all know how that ended. In a country where the greatest political-lightweight in world history, Sarah Palin, was a Katie Couric interview away from Washington, and a top-drawer dimwit like Tila Tequila is rich and famous, I sometimes question our collective-intelligence as Americans. On this day, Pat Robertson, a man who once claimed that God “personally” told him to be President, has an unshakable base of believers that number in the millions.

But I have bad news: religion might not be real.

I’m not suggesting there’s no such thing as God or Heaven and Hell. I don’t know that for sure and neither do you. In fact the thing that binds all living people is that none of us have a scrap of actual afterlife-evidence. In fact the majority of evidence would suggest life on earth is the whole show. Obvious? Of course. If you are a Catholic or a Pat Robertson believer for example, you must accept the fact that the Earth is roughly 4,000 years old, everything you see was created in 6 days, dinosaurs and human beings lived at the same time, and some guy named Noah built an arc and ushered all earth’s animals aboard to ensure procreation. If you believe some of the story you have to believe it all. I’m not knocking anyone who goes to church or lives by the Ten Commandments, but any person that makes him or herself a slave to an invisible and unprovable force, or hands their life savings to some horse thief like Robertson might as well have the dunce capped sown on permanently. And if you don’t believe there’re people who’d give their shirt to such a transparent phony, just remember 20% of Americans believe that the Sun revolves around the Earth.

Not only were Robertson’s Haiti comments catastrophically out of touch, and his continued assertion that he has a direct pipeline to the Divine Being absurd and self-promoting, but his fact checkers embarrassingly dropped the ball. Robertson, when breaking down his deal-with-the-devil nonsense, missed Napoleon III’s time of reign by 44 years. Then went on to insult the same revolutionary spirit that brought about Haiti’s freedom from France the same way it brought America’s freedom from Great Britain. So in a sense, he insulted the very fabric of our own path to independence. Which seems doubly-ridiculous coming from a “preacher” man who profited off a country where free religion is the foundation of our beliefs.

In closing I’ll say the earthquake in Haiti is a tragedy of epic proportions, and there is no deal with the devil at work behind it. I promise you that. Nothing more than stunningly bad luck for an island-nation that has known nothing but. And I was happy to hear that Barack Obama was immediately sending 100 million in relief funds. My only hope is he withdrew it from Pat Robertson’s personal account. And, if you are so inclined, say a prayer for the people of Haiti.

Brian Huba


  1. Why are you asking for a prayer, if you don't belive in the Power of God, if you don't think he created the world in 6 days what make you think his going to listed to your 30 sec come in all bad things the firt to look is that God that you are making negative comments....

  2. Hence why he said "if you are so inclined, say a prayer" meaning that if that's what you believe to do, then have at it. You don't necessarily need to be a believer in God to say a prayer. I am a logistical thinker, I don't attend church (other than christmas, easter, and for traditional services like weddings & funerals) I live my life the way I feel I should, but should something tragic happen, I may wish some health & prosperity, doesn't make me a believer in God, it just makes me someone who believes that little miracles can happen on a logical note.

    Brian...I completely agree. Someone sent me the YouTube link to his rant and I couldn't believe what this guy was rambling on about. They were hit by an earthquake due to their geographical location, not because of some so-called deal with the devil. I have done what I can from here, and donated money to the Red Cross. I guess the only positive thing to come out of this poor situation, is the rebuilding of Haiti. With the world coming together to donate funds, manpower, food etc. They can build houses that will be able to withstand these situations a little better, it's just unfortunate how it came about.