Sandra Bullock chose the MTV Movie Awards as her forum for a long-awaited return to public, after the oh-so earth shattering news that her tattooed hubby Jesse James had cheated on her with several different women, including Yale graduate and beloved heart surgeon to the blind Michelle “Bombshell” McGhee. I’m just kidding. Bombshell obviously didn’t go to Yale. Anyway, Sandra was the recipient of the “coveted” MTV Generational Award, which seemed to me something MTV just made up to give Sandra an award, because her husband cheated on her. After receiving an over-the-top standing ovation, the likes of which could be reserved for Mother Teresa or Queen Elizabeth, Bullock took the MTV stage in a black sequin dress with no back to accept her prestigious (made up) honor. From there the hyperbole went into high gear.
During his introduction of Bullock, Bradley Cooper told Bullock he hoped she knows "how loved you are ... You are once-in-a-generation talent." I love Bradley, but I must ask: What? Obviously old BC isn’t talking about Bullock’s performance in, maybe the worst movie ever made, ALL ABOUT STEVE. Cooper co-starred with Bullock on that train wreck, and it is to date, his only box-office bomb. If he was talking about DiCaprio or Streep or D-Washington then OK, I understand the praise. But Bullock? The star of MURDER BY NUMBERS? Come on. As great as HOPE FLOATS and FORCES OF NATURE were, to call Bullock a once-in-a-generation talent is a bit overblown. My opinion: Her inability to judge character and marry a man with the background and personal resume of a Jesse James is really unbelievable for a woman in Bullock’s position. And, quite frankly, I’m tired of feeling sorry for her.
Earlier this year when she won the Oscar for her massively overrated portrayal of Leigh Anne Tuohy in that awful, after-school-special movie, THE BLINDSIDE, her entire speech was about how great this guy Jesse James was, how he’s her rock, her strength, her reason, and on, and on, and on. Between the tears and praise for this cheating biker-husband of hers, I forgot she was even on that stage for winning an award for her professional success. On that night, she's the one who stupidly brought their broken relationship to the public eye with that barrage of love. So why should we feel bad for the backlash? I’m sorry but that kind of attention to a significant other on “your night” is an obvious red-flag that something larger is going on. A dependency issue or simply the fact that she knew he was unfaithful, and, in some weird way, she was begging him not to stray though her tearful speech.
Do I feel bad for her as a person? I guess. As bad as you can feel for a multi-millionaire actress who signed herself up for a wedding with this guy. In life you make your own bed. Right? Do I think she’s a great actress? No, I don’t. In fact, I can’t think of a single good movie she’s ever done. And the fact that she won an Oscar is unbelievable to me. Do I think Bullock is a bright person off-screen? No, I fear that she is probably a pretty vapid person and a bad judge of character.
Quick sidebar. Note to Oscar committee: any movie where a five year old coaches up the details of college football, or where a housewife interrupts a full-contact practice to explain how a football team is like a family doesn’t get to win major awards. Sorry. The movie was dumb, people. Come on, just admit it. Stop saying how great it was.
Anyway back to Bullock. Check out this hyperbole: Betty White, who last night was dubbed "the second-most-loved star of today," called Bullock "grace defined, and I adore you madly. Sandy, you are a national treasure." I guess White, who’s been on a super-annoying resurgence because she’s old and talks about sex a lot (I guess), is the second-most-loved to Bullock? So it seems. If that’s not irritating enough, how about the fact that White describes the LOVERBOY star as a national treasure. National treasure? You mean like Rosa Parks or Liz Taylor? And even Liz is a stretch. Because Bullock’s made a bunch of crappy movies and got publically humiliated by some dirt bag biker, she’s all of a sudden held in the same light as Jackie Kennedy? Recently when interviewed about his cheating on the great Sandra Bullock, hubby Jesse James described himself as the most hated man in the world. The world? Come on, people, enough is enough.
The fact is women are cheated on every day. Women are beaten and abused, and sometimes murdered by bad, bad men. The most hated man in the world! You dumb, stupid, self-absorbed idiot! Ask Natalee Holloway’s parents if reality-TV star Jesse James is their most hated man in the world. Ask Laci Peterson’s parents how many tears they’ve shed because the star of MISS CONGENIALITY had a husband who cheated on her! Ask the millions and millions of nameless, faceless domestic-abuse victims in this world if they really care when Sandra Bullock’s next overrated piece of crap is slated for release.
In her MTV speech, Bullock stated: "Speaking of what you might have seen or heard, I wanted to clarify some things: Number one, I'm not dead. Number two, everyone has cellulite, not just me." And the audience just laughed, and laughed, and applauded. Ah! Gag me!
After half-necking with Scarlett Johansson, in some sort of attempt to be funny, Bullock asked that all of us say a prayer for the people in the Gulf. Oh, how touching. I must admit (here I will be sarcastic) I was in tears as our national treasure made her way from that MTV stage, with her well-deserved (made up) award. I thought I’d never say this, but thank God for Tom Cruise and J-LO dancing to save the show.