Thursday, March 11, 2010

Big Ben: The Dumbest Athlete in America

You may think that Tiger Woods is the dumbest athlete in America. But you’d be wrong. He’s just the most robotic and phony. And you may think Alex Rodriquez is the dumbest athlete in America. You may have even seen him Jersey-Shore dancing in some South Beach nightclub with dyed-blond tips and a skin-tight wife beater. Sure. A-Rod has the judgment of a mental patient. But he’s not the dumbest. Michael Vick? Just the most disgusting. The dumb-distinction belongs to Pittsburgh Steelers QB Ben Rothlisberger. Big Ben is hands down the dumbest athlete in America.

In case you've been living under a rock the last few days, let me catch you up on the latest off-field fiasco involving the 26-year-old, two-time Superbowl Champion. On March 5th, Rothlisberger decided it'd be a good idea to go to a college bar in a town called Milledgeville, Ga. and get drunk with some buddies. Now mind you this man’s worth millions and arguably one of the most famous faces in all of sports, sitting in a college dive-bar getting blitzed with 18-21 year olds. If you’ve never seen Rothlisberger, he’s not called Big Ben because of the clock in London. He’s 6’5” and about 265lbs. You could see this giant coming from a mile away.

Sometime that same night, a 20-year-old woman accused the QB of sexually assaulting her. She has since hired a lawyer and Georgia Police are on the case. Of course Rothlisberger and the two men he was with (off-duty cops, according to reports) all claim nothing inappropriate took place. Ed Garland, an attorney for Roethlisberger, has said the quarterback is innocent of any crime and that no sexual assault occurred. Rothlisberger has already spoken to cops, saying that he had contact with the woman but no assault took place. He has also told police that the woman slipped and fell to the ground, hitting her head. OK. Now if you think a national celebrity getting gassed with college kids is dumb, the only thing he could have done to fuel this fire of stupidity was give a statement to police without a lawyer guiding him. So obviously that’s what this idiot did: gave the statement asap. He better hope he was telling the truth, because he’s locked into that slip-and-fall story forever. But my guess is things are going to get really bad for Rothlisberger. Whatever happened that night, the fact that he was even in that place, is crazy. And, I believe, the storm’s coming for him.

Oh, by the way, did I mention that another woman is currently suing the star QB for allegedly raping her at a Lake Tahoe hotel in 2008? That’s right! He’s currently in hot water with another woman for the same kind of crime. Like the Adam Sandler movie says, “Stupidity wins in straight sets.”

Truthfully, Big Ben’s judgment’s always been up for debate. You may remember a few years back he was involved in a motorcycle accident while not wearing a helmet. It was a miracle he didn’t die from that wreck. Then, last season he took time out of the NFL season to leave his team and host a WWE Wrestling event on TV. The QB of a Superbowl championship team risking injury in the heart of a playoff run to go rastle on Monday Night Raw. Not sure what message that sends to Steelers fans. In the end, his team didn’t make the playoffs, so Ben was able to get a jump start on his off-season training. College bars and 20-year-old girls. What can I say? This guy’s an idiot.

When playing NFL QB there is no more important character trait than good judgment. My QB needs to be the smartest, coolest dude in the room, in every room. I promise you that Eli Manning, or Peyton for that fact, would never be caught DEAD getting wasted in a Georgia college bar and flirting up 20 year olds. You may argue that Rothlisberger is a 2-time Champion, one more than Eli or Peyton. But Ben wasn’t the MVP of either Superbowl. Do you know how irrelevant the starting QB has to be to NOT be named MVP, in either game? Both Eli and Peyton were MVP’s of their team’s Superbowl win, of course. Ben is physically gifted, no doubt, but my God, the nonsense never ends with this kid. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me again and again . . . The hits just keep coming for the Steel-city superstar.

How did I know Kobe Bryant was innocent of raping that girl in Colorado in 2003? Simple. When she made her claims against the NBA great, not another woman came out on ET Tonight or to People magazine, saying Kobe did the same thing to her. Nobody. Nothing. Not a single woman! When Tiger’s nonsense went public, about 30 women came out of the woodwork, crowing to everyone who'd listen. That’s what happens when a celebrity’s on the hot seat. Everybody wants their 15 minutes of fame from it. A few months later, Kobe’s accuser dropped all charges and disappeared. I DON’T predict the same ending for Ben and his college-aged accuser. I believe we are about to see the public tumble of an NFL megastar. This story just keeps getting bigger. There’s trouble written all over this case, I’m telling you right now.

I honestly believe Ben Rothlisberger is going to end up in prison from this, if not giving into a financial settlement of some sort. So be ready for a primetime sports trial. It’s coming. And when they slam that cell door shut on Big Ben, he’ll have nothing to thank but his routinely (shockingly) bad judgment. Of course the pundits will call it the sad fall of a sports icon. But the sad fall happens when you’re the dumbest athlete in America. See Mike Tyson/Desiree Washington for proof of that.

Brian Huba

No comments:

Post a Comment