The worst weekend I ever spent was my birthday weekend in 2005. I went to a wedding in New Hampshire with a girl I barely knew. The wedding was for one of her friends and she was in the wedding. It was a nightmare from start to finish, and I think it permanently skewed my view on weddings. I am yet to have a second of fun at anybody else's wedding I’ve been to. Weddings to me are what Thanksgivings were to Chandler on FRIENDS. But I’m sure my cynical lens came about on this very weekend. Let’s begin at the beginning.
I've almost forgotten being single. Being single can be great and it can be anything but. My friend John always says about being single: “The highs are higher and the lows are lower.” I had just started a job in Latham and was finishing my Master’s Degree. I hung out with my friend Justin one Friday, and he was going to introduce me to a blonde he worked with. Well, the blonde came, but I ended up talking to another girl he knew named Jody. She was a brunette and had graduated from Sage. We had fun and decided to hang out again. We had fun again. She told me she was actually going to get married a few months before, claiming her father was putting on an affair with flying doves, but the guy broke it off. After only hanging out twice and talking on the phone a handful of times, she asked me to attend a wedding with her in New Hampshire on September 26th, my birthday. Like a fool, I accepted.
A few days later, when we actually got to know each other, things became weird and icy. The wedding was a week away, and I had already gone to Wal-Mart and bought a dress shirt and matching tie, so there was no turning back now. She picked me up at work on Friday, and the second I sat in the car, I knew this was gonna be a bad one. She insisted on blaring OAR the whole three hour ride out. Yep, she was one of those. When we got to the seafood house where the rehearsal dinner was held, she splintered off immediately, leaving me with a group of people I had never met before, including the parents of the bride and groom, and of course, the wedding party.
So here I am sitting in a private room with 30 people who are total strangers, and they’re all best friends, so I feel like an idiot, even though I’m rocking this fresh Wal-Mart polo, while this girl is downstairs for forty minutes. After that we all go back to the hotel, and she brings these two guys to our room with her, tells me she’s going out with them, and said it in a way that suggested I wasn’t invited, but told me where the rest of the wedding party was gathering in a hotel room down the hall. Umm, OK. Shortly after, I went to bed. In the early a.m. hours she returned to the room with the guys and they sat around my pretend-sleeping body.
The next day she was out early to get ready with the rest of the bride’s maids. It was my birthday and I was alone in a hotel room in New Hampshire. Of course I never said a word about it being my b-day. She did not even say she was leaving when she left or when she’d be back or where the wedding was being held. I called Justin in Albany, ready to offer him $250.00 to come and get me, no luck. So I found out where the wedding was, put on my Wal-Mart dress shirt and matching tie and showed up, ready to make this day work. I was seated in the corner with 6 people I had never met. Jody was at the head table with the rest of the party. During the reception she never uttered a single word to me or gave any recognition she knew I was there. I left early, back to the hotel room to sleep. Please God let this end. She came in hours later with those same two guys, and night two of sitting around my pretend-sleeping body commenced. I was trapped in hell. Happy birthday.
The next morning she woke me up, said she wanted to get back to Albany, and we made the three-hour drive in cemetery silence. I have no idea what I did or what the heck happened, but when she dropped me off at my car, she took off so fast, she still had my books and backpack. So I had to call her that night to get them back. When she answered, she said, “What do you want?” It was crazy. Anyway she set up a drop point for the following Tuesday, so no personal contact would be necessary.
Wow, I mean what can I say? I have never been treated worse by any person in my entire life. And I still have no idea why. Was I a pawn so she wouldn't look alone? Maybe. It was insane. In retrospect, Jody was probably a bit arrogant, rather delusional, and spoiled. Plus, I think she was nursing a broken/confused heart. As for me I went back to having fun with Justin and my other buds, and it all worked out in the end. Because in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make.
As for Jody, I haven’t seen her since, but I wish her well. And if you ask me if I’d ever repeat that weekend with her for a million dollars, I’d say “Yeah I would.” Then I’d add, “Over my pretend-dead body.”