Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Canadian Lou Talks Pizza at Planet Fitness

So, the other day as I am leaving Planet Fitness, I come across a bizarre poster indicating what I believe to be the most contradicting promotion for a gym yet. Free pizza on the first Monday of every month. What? After a quick mental image, I throw up a little bit in my mouth and exit the building. I ponder this the entire drive home.

Now, the obvious. Why would a fitness center entice those who want to be physically fit with fattening foods? This is gross. I do not want to watch sweaty, overweight people gobbling down slices of grease while I am working out. Also, the stench of pizza while I am trying to sprint at a speed of 7.2 (remember I’m only 5 foot 4 and a female) is certain to discombobulate my workout capabilities.

But as I get to the last stop sign before my final turn, I realize this is genius. Think about it… the first day of the month. Pizza. This gym is conveying to the average individual that eating these foods is “okay,” allowing the person to feel secure in going to this particular type of gym. The overweight may think, “hey, this is my kind of gym… they will accept me.” Plus, being the first day of the month, it is a time to start fresh, and get moving.

Then I pull into my driveway. I am irritated! I do not want to work out in this environment. How about instead of offering pizza, you make us some awesome shakes with bananas, fruits, green tea, anything! This would add to our endurance, instead of making us bloated and let’s say it, fatter. I just don’t get it. This place is supposed to promote a healthy well-being. So, you will not see me at Planet Fitness on the first Mondays of every month.

As I walk up the stairs I then think about all of the other pet peeves I have regarding the gym…. Maybe you will agree with some of them.

1. My favorite times to go to the gym are weekends. I feel like I have some privacy at this time since it is relatively empty. Why then do the big sweaty ones always park themselves on the treadmill next to yours when every other one in the entire place is empty?
2. I think I would like the smell of the vomit-inducing pizza rather than that of a cigarette smoker next to me on a machine. Even worse is when they try to cover it up with perfume.
3. People who don’t clean off their machines when they are finished are not cool.
4. The girl who talks on her cell phone while the belt on the machine moves for a half hour. This person spends 4 hours at the gym per day and works out for 20 minutes of it.
5. Meat-heads. Lift, talk, walk around, laugh, lift, talk, walk around, laugh, repeat.
6. You cannot work out in jeans and a sweater.

Finally, that night I decide enough is enough. I am not thinking about the irritation this one poster has caused me. Because, the truth is, I must give credit to this almighty institution for keeping my body in check. Also, just to spite the pizza poster, I make a nutritious dinner of salmon and asparagus. So, I guess the experience benefited me in more than one way that night. So, the moral is, get yourself to the gym and while you are doing so, tune into the new radio station, 105.7 The Crush, for some ‘90s hits that will definitely get you motivated.

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Canadian Lou

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